[00:00:00] 

[00:00:00] Dell: You are now listening to the Blue Record Podcast. 

[00:00:05] Yeah. Check it. Yeah. We in this together. A Spelmanite is a warrior fighting for justice. We can never be silent, so yeah, we causing a ruckus. Lift our voices up to bring injustice down. Speaking truth to power. We lovin the sound, undaunted by the fight, love is all we need, it's time to clear out the air so we all can breathe.

[00:00:30] Ain't no stoppin us, we stick together, this bond is gon last forever, marchin every day until we free, that's our buried treasure. 

[00:00:38] Shiloh: Happy

[00:00:50] Valentine's Day, y'all. 

[00:00:52] Dell: Happy Valentine's Day! 

[00:00:54] Shiloh: Well, it's not Valentine's Day yet, but do y'all have any plans to celebrate? [00:01:00] 

[00:01:00] Love: Yes. The deep breath. 

[00:01:04] Fina: So, shout out my boyfriend, RJ. Shout out RJ. I don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to do something. 

[00:01:09] Love: Period. Exactly. My partner's birthday is February 9th, and he lives in Alabama, so I'll be going home the weekend before Valentine's Day to celebrate with him, and we'll probably celebrate Valentine's Day as well.

[00:01:21] Ooh, fun. I love going home. I love love. Please. What about you guys? 

[00:01:30] Dell: No, I saw a Hello Kitty thing happening in Atlanta. I am single, you feel me? So I'm going to go with my roommate probably. 

[00:01:36] Love: That sounds really fun and you have the best pictures all the time, so. 

[00:01:40] Dell: Hopefully they're cute. I'm going to try to get some cute ones.

[00:01:43] Love: I already know that it's gonna happen. Period. 

[00:01:46] Shiloh: The only plans that I have I wanna go see the new Bob Marley movie. It's coming out on valentine's Day. That sounds fun. 

[00:01:53] Love: I love theater. I love Bob Marley. Me too. 

[00:01:55] Fina: Speaking of Bob Marley, could you Y'all know this one? I'm [00:02:00] not singing it right, but 

[00:02:01] Dell: Oh no, his son, or his son has a new song out, it's like something about jaw.

[00:02:05] You know what I'm talking about? I didn't know what you were talking about. Yes, I'd be like, every morning. That's okay. 

[00:02:09] Love: Not every morning, not It's Your Worship. 

[00:02:11] Fina: It really is. It's so good. It's so good. Now that we're on the topic of February 14th, we would love to acknowledge Morehouse Founders Day. Shout out to the brothers across the street.

[00:02:23] We love you guys. 

[00:02:23] Love: Stay across the street this year? Oh, oh. Sorry. Was that too much? No. 

[00:02:28] Dell: Go ahead and stay over there. No, I mean, Not my man 

[00:02:33] Love: oh, right. Right. Shout out RJ, though. Shout out RJ. RJ, you can come RJ, you can come on campus. Say hello to Fina. Exactly. Go. Get off. 

[00:02:42] Fina: You know, like happy Valentine's Day. Happy Founders Day.

[00:02:46] Happy Love Day. That's what it is. 

[00:02:48] Love: Today is very much about the fems, though. today we are defining love. That is our episode title. Subtitled. Is it sapphic, though? Because we're going to get [00:03:00] into it today with the color purple discussion. So we're going to be diving deeper into sapphic media's role in the perceptions of Black women.

[00:03:09] And I asked the host to do some scholarly digging and help me define love. So I'm going to pass it over to Shiloh. 

[00:03:19] Shiloh: Yes, so, I looked a little bit into All About Love by Bell Hooks and just found some quotes that I think would contribute to our conversation today. So, the first one that I found is, If our society had a commonly held understanding of the meaning of love, the act of loving would not be so mystifying.

[00:03:37] Deep affection does not really adequately describe love's meaning. And then she goes on to say, To truly love, we must learn to mix various ingredients, care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honesty and open communication. Do you all resonate with this definition of love? And if not, how would you define it?

[00:03:57] Is there anything that you guys would add? [00:04:00] 

[00:04:00] Love: I do feel that her first quote is correct in saying, you know, We don't have a commonly held understanding of love, but that is because it is a mixture of these ingredients. 

[00:04:12] Fina: And I also feel like love is defined differently by everyone. So those can be common ingredients that, you know, you could stir in a bowl to get something pretty, but like.

[00:04:25] Each individual person has their own recipe as to, like, how they love, how they want to be loved, what love is to them. Shout out love. 

[00:04:32] Love: Not everyone likes pretty food, though. Yeah, some people like the ugly stuff. You know those older couples where, like, they don't say much to each other. They just kind of exist around each other, but they love each other.

[00:04:46] And that's their form of love. Being in someone's presence. Some people don't feel like that's love because they're not, Doing some grandiose thing. Speaking of grandiose, especially considering that we live in Atlanta, I feel like [00:05:00] love sometimes can look Very grandiose and performative.

[00:05:06] Grandiose. It's just like these huge acts. Okay. Not a lot of action behind it. 

[00:05:12] Dell: I agree but disagree. Sorry. Ooh, period, get into it. I agree because I was just about to say how I feel like the meaning behind love, we all have, of course we all have different, you know, recipes to our love, but when she says like, That are commonly held understanding of the meaning has changed.

[00:05:27] I feel like that's so accurate. Like we see people showing others love and it's kind of like it's all the worst words. Like I'm thinking of like simp automatically. But it's like as a person showing love in a grandiose way, you're usually judged for it. But I feel like in the way that you're speaking on In Atlanta is capitalistic love.

[00:05:47] It's not about showing love because this is something you want something that I want to give you It's because I saw that that you know, someone got this many flowers 

[00:05:57] Love: Ordered it from this company [00:06:00] 

[00:06:01] Fina: With the big bouquets They're pretty, I want some 

[00:06:04] Love: I feel like love is well rounded like it's not just the Okay, here's something that you like like it's also Let's watch your favorite movie for the 47th time since we've started dating.

[00:06:17] Exactly. 

[00:06:17] Fina: Like, love is not monolithic. It looks so different and so diverse within every different person. And that's why I also feel like, living in Atlanta, it's so important to not compare your relationship to other people's relationships. Yes. cause comparison is the thief of joy. 

[00:06:32] Love: It can get messy.

[00:06:34] Y'all are not wrong.. I also want to say that I've had very Love filled relationship here on Spelman's campus. Like, I love my friends so much. Like, I love the people that I've met this year and have developed relationships in the past few years. But like, especially people from my freshman year. Like, I love those people.

[00:06:58] Like, I've grown up with them my [00:07:00] entire life and. Those friendships look like a lot of different things, like it looks like us, like, you know, standing together on Founders Day and taking, you know, cute little pictures and turning up in places that shall not be named, like, just, you know, taking naps together, like in, you know, people's cars because we're exhausted between classes, like, it looks like all of these forms of just like softness and like kindness and like just openness.

[00:07:30] Yes. Yes. Um, and that's something I really love about my friendships with, like, people at Spelman. Yeah. 

[00:07:36] Dell: And I was just about to ask y'all, what do y'all think she means by deep affection does not really adequately describe love's meaning? I feel like that's exactly what you just said, like those little moments that aren't about like showing affection or feeling affection.

[00:07:49] It's just about feeling comfortable and safe. That's what love is like. That's where you find your love. 

[00:07:54] Fina: Yeah. I feel like for me, it's really different though. Like I definitely agree with that statement, but I'm a very, very [00:08:00] affectionate person. So very touchy, touchy, feelly, feelly, kissy, kissy. You know, but, I feel like my show of love is through affection, but also realizing, like, even when I'm not with my boyfriend, knowing that I still love him, even though I don't, I'm not like in his presence or like, I can't feel him right now.

[00:08:18] And so I feel like in a sense of like safety and protection. Yeah, I definitely agree with that.

[00:08:23] Love: I was also going to say, like, loyalty. 

[00:08:26] Dell: or trust. 

[00:08:26] Love: Yes, but I think that like deep affection it, it goes the extra step when like my friends are loyal to me and like loyal, you know, not in like a toxic way, but just like, you know, I know that they respect me and they know that I stand on business and They know how to be there for me.

[00:08:49] They know when to be affectionate. Mm-Hmm. . And they know when to leave me the hell alone. . Yeah. Yeah. So I think that that like understanding Mm-hmm. in addition to the trust, but like deep [00:09:00] understanding of the person is also required with the deep affection. That's true. Not just affection, but understanding.

[00:09:05] Right. 

[00:09:06] Fina: Like actually comprehending somebody's whole personnel is really important. 'cause like I love being around people. But sometimes I just want to shut up and sit down. Right. You know what I'm saying? 

[00:09:17] Love: I feel like this is not the first time that we've said that. Like, we're tired. Like, we're just tired.

[00:09:22] Dell: No, we just want to be in each other's presence. Like, that's all we need sometimes. 

[00:09:26] Fina: Like my friend, me and my friend Amir, we can literally sit for hours, not saying a word, eating a bowl of Chipotle and just scrolling through TikTok. And that's our form of love to each other. We need to have another night like that.

[00:09:36] Amir, when you hear this Schedule. Schedule, for real. 

[00:09:40] Shiloh: Period.I also think on the topic of kind of familial love. Mm hmm. My mom is my best friend. Yeah, and she's very she's very affectionate like kind of how you were talking about like she always wants to be like up under me like hugging me and everything and I'm just not an affectionate person like I'm kind of just staring at her like 

[00:09:58] Fina: so how do you receive [00:10:00] affection when it's given?

[00:10:01] Shiloh: Um, I Definitely like receive her affection like I like being hugged by her and everything but it's just like that's not really how I give love. I'm more of a quality time person, I would say. So I think this winter break was really healing for me because I was home and I got to be around her and just like my whole family, but her especially and my sister.

[00:10:22] Just like spending time with them was really healing for me. Like, because of course I, you know, I have those connections and valuable relationships on Spelman's campus, but moving away from my mom has been Difficult, yeah. A transition. Yeah. Cause that's my best friend. 

[00:10:37] Fina: That's so cute. Yeah. That's real Black woman love. Right. Between a Black daughter and a Black mother. Yeah. It gets deep. Yes. 

[00:10:47] Love: Miss my mom. No, for real. 

[00:10:48] Shiloh: Already?? 

[00:10:50] Fina: Shout out all the Black moms. 

[00:10:52] Shiloh: I told her that. She was like, you just left. I was like, bye. Miss you. 

[00:10:55] Love: You know, speaking of Black moms, it just we're probably going [00:11:00] to talk about this more than once but it's making me think about The projections of what others think Black women should do with their love.

[00:11:12] I think Black mothers get policed with their love, especially, you know, when it comes to like, their children. You know, I'm thinking specifically, I know there was a woman, I think it was later last year, who, um, had a miscarriage, and I think she like, flushed, what happened and she literally got charged for like, manslaughter.

[00:11:36] and it's, you know, that makes me think about the love that she has for that experience and her child. And how corrupted that is just because, somebody thinks that they own her body. 

[00:11:50] Dell: Right. Also, there are too many women. Who have experienced miscarriages in their homes and they weren't able to go to a hospital and let people know that this happened.

[00:11:58] So I just feel like for us [00:12:00] to villainize her and her actions is just unnecessary. It's horrible. Yeah, it's never right. 

[00:12:06] Love: I think it's really important, especially as college students, especially considering we're social justice, people. And that's something we pride ourselves on, community.

[00:12:15] I think it's really important to be intentional about bringing these women. just all sorts of women into community. cause I can't imagine how lonely and scary that felt. And I know what my friendships here have done for me in times where I have felt incredibly alone and scared. I do feel often times.

[00:12:44] A lot of sadness for people who, who don't really get to engage in, in love. Um, in all types, like not just romantic love, but like platonic love. In all forms, yeah. I want us just as a human race to be more empathetic about that, and like be more willing to just share love [00:13:00] constantly, cause you never know who's going through what someone might need, yeah.

[00:13:04] Fina: Right, just love, that's, that's the vibe, just love. And then also speaking of platonic, I feel like people don't talk about that a lot. And I feel like, between a friendship, especially at Spelman, like, there's so much love within Black sisterhood. Like, Black sisterhood is really like the essence of Black joy for women.

[00:13:26] For Black women specifically. Yeah, exactly. it's like so much love on Spelman College's campus, in various different forms. And I know, my freshman year, I feel like friendships can be seasonal, but like, my friends, my freshman year, they definitely taught me how to develop into a Black woman who's able to accept and receive love from other Black women.

[00:13:46] Because it's so frown like, it's so frown frowned upon when you grow up where it's like, you can't do that. You can't do this. Like receiving love from a woman is bad. It's this and this and that. So when I came to college, I was just like, wow, I'm like, I'm surrounded by women and I have nothing in me [00:14:00] but love for them.

[00:14:01] And so just a loving and accepting and receiving it as well. 

[00:14:04] Dell: I definitely agree. And also, I kind of relate to like, learning how to love. Even though I don't have those same friends from my freshman year, I still have so much love for those friends. We don't talk to each other every single day or even every semester.

[00:14:18] Like, we see each other in passing. And I'm like, I remember all the memories that I was able to make with you on this campus as a Black woman. And I know like in now and in the future, we're going to have these memories together. 

[00:14:29] Fina: It gets deep, because it's like, y'all don't talk no more, but I still love you.

[00:14:32] Dell: No, yes, I still have so much love. Like, especially for your accomplishments. 

[00:14:36] Fina: What you want to do. Yes, I'm like. Overcoming adversities. 

[00:14:39] Dell: I want to be your cheerleader, even if I'm not always in your corner. 

[00:14:43] Love: Sisterhood being integral to Spelman makes me think about how a lot of the times I'll meet professors and I'm like, Mom?

[00:14:53] And that's so deep. Like, I am so, so grateful for that. I'm [00:15:00] so grateful that I'm able to come to Spelman and feel familial relationships without trying. Like, I'll meet An administrative assistant in a department that I have never taken a class in and we're talking about her children and like, you know What kind of food her kid eats?

[00:15:17] Like what her kid's allergic to like, you know, I love that that's love for me Love is small talk. That is joyful and you know Praises the little positive things in your day, and I think that I have gotten to hone that sort of love Here at Spelman. I know I would have never ever even began to interface this anywhere else in my life.

[00:15:43] Dell: I completely agree. 

[00:15:45] Fina: I don't think I would have found a better way to learn how to love than outside of Spelman's campus. Yeah, and I also feel like it's how you grew up because I grew up in an African household. They don't teach you how to love. They teach you how to [00:16:00] survive. And so everything was like survival of the fittest.

[00:16:03] And so again, when I came to Spelman, I really had to learn how to accept and receive love. Like in high school, I was not affectionate. I was not like, don't touch me. But after coming through Spelman, like developing into who I am today, I'm very, very affectionate and I love affection. And so like, just the transition of being in freshman year and being in junior year, it's definitely different.

[00:16:24] It's an evolution, an evolution of love. Love? 

[00:16:29] Love: You can stop calling it love. 

[00:16:32] Fina: If y'all don't know, love's name is Love. 

[00:16:36] Shiloh: And then I kind of just wanted to continue on with a little bit of bell hooks discussion from her book So the next quote is this despair about love is coupled with the callous cynicism That frowns upon any suggestion that love is as important as work as crucial to our survival as a nation as the drive to succeed Our nation is equally driven by sexual obsession.

[00:16:59] [00:17:00] There is no aspect of sexuality that is not studied talked about or demonstrated. Yet schools for love do not exist. Everyone assumes that we will know how to love instinctively. So I thought this quote was really interesting, and I wanted to ask if you all agree with her point that there's currently a cynicism towards love within society.

[00:17:20] she calls it, like, the epidemic of lovelessness. 

[00:17:23] Love: Mmm. Yeah. Yes. I have thoughts. Because one thing about being a Spelmanite is that, you know, sometimes you go out with your friends, and like, you see people, maybe You know men, and they're like Trying to engage with you, and you're like I'm with my girls right now.

[00:17:46] I think sometimes men, and you know just Loveless perhaps people see these Instances, and they're like oh like those girls are gay like [00:18:00] Those girls are just gay like whatever Can I not love my friend so much that I want to do everything in my power to hide her from you because you're creepy? like That really disturbs me that men and People can be so offended by what we were talking about earlier like the purity of Black Femme, love, and just skew it because it's not what they want it to be.

[00:18:29] Like, they do want it to be something that they can sexualize, so that's what they turn it into. But, like, in reality, it may just be something platonic. And if it is something sexual, it doesn't have anything to do with you. 

[00:18:42] Dell: No, that's real. That's real. I feel like that's something, like, even 

[00:18:46] We have that issue a lot of the times even our close friends. at Spelman. Yeah feel like Because I'm more femme presenting and you're more like less femme presenting that we're together and that this isn't a [00:19:00] platonic love right and I just feel like That happens so much. It happens.

[00:19:04] Why so commonly I think it's because it's not that we're loveless, but we do have an obsession with this like sexual. Yeah, sexuality and like sexual relationships. And I feel like for some reason, that's what everyone believes that everyone else is thinking about as well.

[00:19:22] And it's just very daunting Yeah, yeah, that's literally the word. 

[00:19:27] Love: Black women's sexuality is, like, not protected. Like, if you think about it historically, like, white women's sexuality has been the point of 

[00:19:34] Dell: They can be bestest friends. 

[00:19:38] Love: Oh, right. And you will never question their friendship. No one will ever ask if they're gay.

[00:19:41] Not only that, but, like, they have been, you know It's like Reefer Madness was because like people were sexually assaulting white women like They were saying that that was happening like you know what I'm saying like white sexual purity right is the point of protection but [00:20:00] for some reason Black women's sexuality can be like the sexual obsession something that to be Like that doesn't make any sense Yeah.

[00:20:10] Fina: And then also I experience this a lot, like, because I'm so affectionate, I'm very affectionate with my girlfriends too. Mm-Hmm. . And so people oftentimes be like, are you bicurious? I'm like, I don't know what bi I, I'm not curious. Like, I, like, I'm not curious. I just love my girlfriends. Yeah. Like, I just love showing them love because I know like.

[00:20:33] Having girlfriends, like, especially Black girlfriends, you know, like the true in depth trauma that they have endured growing up. So just giving them a kiss on the cheek or a hug or like, girl, I love you. And then it turns into, girl, are you bi curious? No, I'm not curious, actually. I know what I'm doing.

[00:20:49] Love: Yeah, and I think we should also acknowledge that there are queer relationships happening on Spelman's campus. Exactly. That's also beautiful. Spelman on Spelman love. [00:21:00] And I love it. Like, I love to see it. I think most people love to see it. Everyone who doesn't love to see it. Stop being homophobic. 

[00:21:07] Dell: No, for real. I do want to ask, like, how do you handle, is it something that, like, do you feel like people ask you when you're giving them affection or something? Do you have to, like, Dial back your affection with your friends then? 

[00:21:18] Fina: Um, no, I don't. And I won't. Unless they verbally tell me like, I'm very uncomfortable with this level of affection. a lot of them know I'm very affectionate and very bubbly. And so everything's a joke with me, honestly. it's just really interesting, because I know a lot of people aren't really, even before I came to Spelman, I wasn't really educated in like LGBTQIA plus community and so like actually understanding what it is understanding my sexuality Although I may not be a part of the community But accepting the community for what it is and not like, you know judging and stuff like that and so also understanding like there's no fine line in love like You know what I'm saying?

[00:21:54] If I want to show affection, that don't mean, if you want to show affection, that don't mean you're bi curious. You know what I'm [00:22:00] saying? And if you are showing affection and you are bisexual, you are lesbian, that's you. You know what I'm saying? 

[00:22:05] Dell: Yeah, that's fine. Like, it's fine. Also, I do feel like it's harder to then make, like, bring in love into your friendships.

[00:22:11] Because no matter what, people, even your friends may feel like, That this is a sexual relationship or that you're intending to be Romantic with them I feel like that doesn't happen as much on Spelman's campus But I do feel like it's something that It's something we experience because we're like in a loveless society, I guess.

[00:22:28] They're not used to getting that affection. 

[00:22:30] Fina: That's true. I also feel like my aura is romantic, though. So like, the way I look at people, how I talk to people, so I feel like that just may be just misconstrued. I'm letting everybody know, I'm not, like, I'm not curious. I know. 

[00:22:43] Love: I actually am standing firmly on business.

[00:22:46] Fina: Exactly. I'm trying to show you love and affection. 

[00:22:48] Love: It's interesting that, like, I did not think about this when writing the outline, but You know, I've been out. As pansexual, meaning just loving all genders, since I was [00:23:00] 14, maybe 13. I came out in middle school, and in middle school I was doing sports with women.

[00:23:06] And I remember being super intentional about just like looking up into the sky or like into a corner. Cause like, I was friends with everybody, and nobody had expressed like, Oh, I think you're gonna look at me or whatever. But I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, cause I was very openly queer. And As I just, like, continued developing, like, myself, like, I think that I just had to accept that some people were going to misconstrue my love.

[00:23:35] And, you know, to the point we were talking about earlier, like, It's not my fault that people want to sexualize my platonic love. That's not my fault. So I'm, I'm glad that you said what you said, like keep doing what you're doing, like consent, you know, consent involved. Keep doing what you're doing because like it's not our responsibility to make someone think, oh like that's That's fine.

[00:23:59] [00:24:00] Yeah. Who are you to say what is fine and what's not fine in the way I love people? 

[00:24:05] Fina: I feel like society just needs to vibe. Just vibe. Just vibe. Just vibe. 

[00:24:09] Dell: This conversation makes me, I read this like article called How Black Femme Friendships Changed My Life, and literally what you said It was published in 2018 by Cameron Glover and what you said about Having to like change how you act around certain people so that other people feel more comfortable as around you because they know you're Black and queer I feel like this is exactly what this article is talking about.

[00:24:33] It's like having to like Quiet your queerness, I guess and not make the other straight women in the room feel like i'm a predator towards them That was something that I wanted to talk about because I wanted to speak on the article.

[00:24:45] I feel like y'all should go read it if y'all want to look it up. 

[00:24:48] Fina: Yeah, y'all go read. Reading is fundamental. 

[00:24:50] Love: One of my favorite things that Dr. Spence said to me once is Are the girls really reading? Like, you know. And that encouraged me to get on my Zoom [00:25:00] and start reading. Start reading. Shout out Dr.

[00:25:02] Spence. Go ahead and read the article that she just mentioned. 

[00:25:04] Fina: Are the girls really reading? 

[00:25:06] Dell: Are you reading girls? 

[00:25:09] Love: I read them for real. Oh my god, Dr. Smith. Am I reading for real? Right. I was like, no, they're not. I don't know what to tell you. 

[00:25:20] Fina: That is so funny. No, but I love the fact that you brought up that article.

[00:25:23] Because it made me think about, like, how I want to be loved, and how, like, I accept other people's loves, especially, like, within my Black fem, um, friendships. And just, like, reflecting on my friendships, and, like, how, like, I'm affectionate, but my best friend, Kasaya, may not be affectionate, but we still, like, balance each other out.

[00:25:40] And then also thinking, like, even in my relationship, like, how I love, how he loves, how that balances our relationship out. it just put me in a deep thought process. Like, how do I wanna be loved? How do y'all wanna be loved? 

[00:25:52] Dell: Right. Okay. That's a good question. Hold on. I gotta think about that.

[00:25:55] Fina: Yeah. Like how do y'all wanna be loved? Damn, I got y'all in your [00:26:00] thoughts.

[00:26:00] Love: That's a hard question. Yeah. And it's funny that it's hard even though I'm in a relationship. But, um, you know, we're long distance. Um, so. I think about how I want to be loved a lot because there's going to be a time where, you know, we're physically together and things are just like regular.

[00:26:23] Like right now, I just want compassion and, someone who literally just makes me laugh, like takes my mind off things like for real. Um, that looks like love for me because that, that is an understanding of how. Like busy and stressed I am all the time and so I don't know but I also think I would like to have Quality time.

[00:26:49] Mm hmm, but that's something I have to work on myself because I do a lot of working and TV and working and laying down and working [00:27:00] and Eating breakfast and XYZ and it's like maybe you just need to eat breakfast Sit and sit down or watch your movie, like Mm-Hmm. . I think that's something I'm gonna have to work on.

[00:27:10] Yeah. As I transition into, you know, being physically with my partner all the time. Yeah, 

[00:27:15] Fina: yeah. Like learning to be still, 

[00:27:17] Love: oh God, I can't, I, I can't, I can't do that. I mean, well, let me not say that. Can't at all. 

[00:27:23] Fina: No, we can do it. We're just Black women who just love to work 

[00:27:27] Love: for me to do it, you know? 

[00:27:29] Fina: No, literally.

[00:27:30] it also made me realize like. how I want to be loved, how I love what I love about my relationship and I, I just want to shout out my boyfriend, y'all. 

[00:27:38] Love: Shout out RJ. 

[00:27:41] Fina: Like, I love how he loves me in, like, my fullest form. Like, I don't have to, like, adjust. I don't have to, like, make myself turn into this smaller person.

[00:27:49] Like, he knows I'm dramatic. I have this really big personality and he accepts it wholly. Speaking of, he just texted me. 

[00:27:57] Shiloh: That is cute, actually. That is cute. 

[00:27:58] Love: How do you guys want to be loved? [00:28:00] Yeah. 

[00:28:00] Shiloh: I think That was an interesting question for me because the only love that I've experienced, I don't want to say only as if that's like not, you know what I'm saying, but I've never experienced romantic love, so 

[00:28:12] Fina: that's so pure and innocent.

[00:28:14] I love that you have so much to love and experience 

[00:28:19] Love: It is such a beautiful experience for the first time. I'm excited for that. Let me know when it happens. 

[00:28:25] I'll let 

[00:28:26] Shiloh: you know. But I think it's interesting because. Because as we were talking about before, society does have a tendency to only, you know, discuss romantic love.

[00:28:34] Yeah. Sothe first thing my mind went to is like my platonic love and my familial love. Cause those, you know what I'm saying? Like that's my foundation. Um, those are my people. And I feel like within those relationships, the biggest thing is what you were talking about. Someone who accepts you wholeheartedly for who you are.

[00:28:52] I feel like. That's like the biggest sign of love for me. That's one of the most important things like in my loving relationships. [00:29:00] So I feel like that will remain. You know, something that's important to me when that day comes. 

[00:29:07] Fina: Exactly! Imma be at the wedding, like, y'all, y'all didn't know her! 

[00:29:11] Love: This is our first, you know, video recording, right?

[00:29:14] Now you know what Shiloh looks like. 

[00:29:15] Shiloh: Oh! 

[00:29:17] Fina: Oh! If you're single, and you're looking for a very beautiful girl who's intelligent and smart Y'all hit up Shiloh. Hit up the blue record. 

[00:29:28] Love: I'm crying.

[00:29:32] Dell: Make sure you, uh, apply for it. 

[00:29:34] Fina: Apply. That's so funny. And me, Love, and Dell will be reviewing the applications. We're also seeking applications for Dell as well. 

[00:29:41] Love: Oh! 

[00:29:42] Dell: We won't be taking all of them. Right! 

[00:29:44] Love: All of those will be sent straight to the trash. 

[00:29:46] Dell: No. Literally. Oh my god. Um, no, yeah, I also relate. Like, I feel Every time I think of love, I immediately go to familial love.

[00:29:56] I go to all of my, I have five older sisters. Oh! [00:30:00] All of my love and everything I've learned about love, honestly and truly, has came from my five older sisters. And then, I just feel like, other than that, other than that, in romantic love, I think I would want to be literally heard. And I think, like I say, protected a lot, but I think that's something that's really important to me.

[00:30:18] It's feeling like. Yeah, really safe with that person who I'm with feeling like I'm not going to be judged in any capacity like for my thoughts and how I go about things. So I just think I think that's all I want. It's like this type of really trusting safe space for myself. Yeah, I think that's what I want in love.

[00:30:38] Shiloh: Yes, I think with that safe space also like someone who just listens to you and doesn't immediately try to like, you know, jump to a solution. Yeah, I feel like that's something that I love in a lot of my platonic friendships too I was going to say, yeah, right? Yes. Yes.

[00:30:54] Fina: I feel like the things that we're seeking and how we want to be loved is how Black [00:31:00] women are hated on in society.

[00:31:01] So for example, like, Us being misheard, lack of communication, having to fit into this box, like everything we're saying. 

[00:31:08] Love: Wanting to feel safe. Exactly. Black women get demonized for wanting to feel safe so much. Like the comments on social media when women, like it's actually scary. 

[00:31:17] Dell: When they want stability, when they want safety in their homes.

[00:31:21] Fina: Oh my goodness, like. 

[00:31:23] Love: And why is it that y'all can do this in front of God and everybody, like. 

[00:31:28] Fina: Right. What? Listen. 

[00:31:31] Love: What's making you feel? Yeah, 

[00:31:33] Fina: like what makes you feel so confident in God's green earth to say that? You know what I'm saying? the fact that like Black women are always put in like survival mode But wanting to feel safe within like a loving atmosphere is something that we all desire.

[00:31:45] I feel like it's really deep It steps into that trauma wound that Black women experience 

[00:31:50] Love: I think that's why Is that a racial healing? I think that's why bell hooks is talking about like women And the way that they love [00:32:00] specifically is so significant. Like, if you want to get into that quote, Shiloh. 

[00:32:03] Shiloh: Yes. So the quote says, All my life, I have thought of love as primarily a topic women contemplate with greater intensity and vigor than anybody else on the planet. I still hold this belief, even though female visionary thinking on the subject has yet to be taken seriously, as the thoughts and writings of men.

[00:32:21] Men theorize about love, but women are most often love's 

[00:32:24] practitioners. 

[00:32:25] Dell: Mm. Come on now. 

[00:32:28] Love: Right. okay bell hooks. Consider myself a practitioner of love. Like Mm-Hmm. I am confident in the way that I love the people in my life. Mm-Hmm. . Like I definitely critique myself, you know, when there's room for critique, but I know.

[00:32:44] Myself, and I'm always loving the people in my life. Um, and I think that that self awareness is also, like, really important in the whole conversation of, like, love what you want, how you want to receive it, how you want to get it. [00:33:00] Like, you have to know yourself to understand these things for yourself. And I don't want to say that women are better at self awareness or anything, but 

[00:33:09] Fina: Well I would say no, I'll say it too.

[00:33:13] In a sense that, you know, yeah 

[00:33:16] Love: Oh, that's not-- 

[00:33:19] Fina: yeah, in a sense that 

[00:33:21] Dell: Oh, my goodness. I think you're completely right. It's the intentionality behind it. I think I bring that up so much. It's your intention. If your intention isn't clear to yourself, I don't know how it was going to be clear for anybody else.

[00:33:34] I feel like, I feel like women have had to show an expertise in love to like keep moving. I don't know if that makes sense. 

[00:33:43] Love: No, that does make sense. It's like we have to show it more. 

[00:33:47] Dell: If we don't have an expertise, like if we are not good at love, that's unacceptable like, yeah, exactly, like you can't not be a good loving mother, a good loving sister, a good loving wife.

[00:33:58] Yes, you have to be great [00:34:00] at giving love. 

[00:34:01] Fina: Yeah, that's so true. And then it's also like, the idea of what love is, as in, Put on us to portray it when that may not be how we want to be loved or how we love or how we want to feel love and so I think that's really interesting to think about because it's like Dang, like society really has Black women in This like little scope of things and we can't like evolve and like transcend out of it.

[00:34:25] I think that's really interesting 

[00:34:27] Dell: And when we do we're harmed exactly like yeah, it's Exactly. 

[00:34:33] Fina: And then also like, the idea that Loving is like a feminine quality and so a lot of men that I come across actually lack love or lack the ability to receive love. And so I think it's really interesting because it's like how we're raised and how we grow up.

[00:34:48] And then I also say like, yes, society, and I also say like Black women need to do, you know, their job In a sense of like raising Black men, raising Black men at the same time. You know what I'm saying? [00:35:00] It's like a whole circle. 

[00:35:01] Love: No Black men need to be in Black young men's lives. get into it for them.

[00:35:08] It's not a woman's. I'm sorry. Hold on. No. The church in me started to show up. Hold on. 

[00:35:14] Dell: I'm sorry that I brought that up. Get into it. I say that because I have five older sisters. I'm telling, I don't mean to say that women's job is to raise good Black men. We want them to raise good Black men because they're usually the sole parent in that home.

[00:35:28] Right. Exactly. It's usually left on them to raise the good Black men and sadly when they fail, it's placed on them and not the person who left that situation. 

[00:35:37] Fina: I a hundred percent agree with that. 

[00:35:38] Love: I, I just got upset because I want there to be more community organizing around prioritizing young, Black, mm-Hmm.

[00:35:47] men. Mm-Hmm, . Yeah. Like 

[00:35:49] Dell: we need to have a whole, a whole episode about that. 

[00:35:51] Fina: Yeah. That's a whole different topic. 

[00:35:53] Love: That's love, like that is showing love. And that is where this lovelessness, I think, comes into it. It's because.[00:36:00] some people don't have a community that fed into them, so they don't think, well, if I don't Create the community for these young youth then like who's gonna do it.

[00:36:10] Yeah, they're not considering that. Yeah, that's why I got so frustrated 

[00:36:13] Dell: No, that's no, it's okay. We don't place the blame on the Black man. We never do 

[00:36:17] Fina: and we should and I also feel like I agree We should we should start placing the blame on who needs to be blamed right in this situation because I feel like every situation is different But I definitely agree with Dell in a sense of like, it's not the Black woman's job, but it's often left on us to do the job.

[00:36:36] So then it becomes our job. I always say, because I grew up with the older brothers, like my Black mom coddles her Black son to the early ages of adulthood. And so, the way you said that? Because I literally did a whole research essay. Oh wow, you did? Like, I feel like Black moms like really like coddle their son, their Black sons, and then raise their Black daughters.

[00:36:58] And so, that leaves us in like also [00:37:00] survival mode, but also having to learn how to be feminine and soft and loving and this and that. That and it's like leaves a lot on our little plate. Exactly my plate is literally this big. I don't have much room Like no room at all actually 

[00:37:13] Love: so To close out the episode. We're gonna have a quick robust discussion about the color purple 

[00:37:24] Dell: Okay, guys, we're going to start discussing some text from Annaya Baynes, former director of tech ops of TBR. Annaya is currently a fellow at Girls Write Now. Period. Come on now. Exactly. Right. And we're going to read just a quote from her, her initial review. let's get right into it. 

[00:37:43] I cried. Black people in musicals are match made in heaven. I think that this adaptation does a fairly good job balancing the pain with the joy. I do wish that it leaned more into quiet. That would make the big numbers have even more impact. Another missed opportunity [00:38:00] is how they use light skin as shorthand for desirability.

[00:38:03] i. e. Nettie and Suge. This does a disservice to the nuance and commentary in the novel. I also think that this version improves upon Suge and Celie's relationship from the previous adaptation. However, I wish it was more queer. I believe that oftentimes queer love can be presented as more sanitized than its straight counterpart.

[00:38:21] This is perhaps an overcorrection in reaction to the fetishization that LGBT plus people face. However, queer sex is important. Sex is not just salacious. It can be healing, holy. If we see sex used as perfunctionary violence, r e., Mr. and Celie, why can't we have a scene where we see Celie really experience pleasure for the first time?

[00:38:42] Annaya initial review. 

[00:38:43] Fina: That was deep. That was really deep. 

[00:38:47] Love: Annaya really can write. Cause that was just a text. That wasn't even like a blog post or anything. That was really deep. I really appreciate what was said [00:39:00] about leaning into the quiet. Yes. I really loved that about the original film, especially going to high school in like, rural Alabama.

[00:39:13] The quiet, like I'm thinking about the scenes where, they bring out the, juke joint onto the river and how it's like super quiet when that happens. I'm like, there's other parts of the movie where that happens and I just feel like it shows the southernness and the Ruralness. Mm-Hmm. . The silence You're gonna find the silence that you find in, in the rural parts of Georgia, I think, which is where there's supposed to be for sure.

[00:39:36] Um, Georgia. Georgia, I also agree that. Just off of what I saw, because I've seen the original version. I haven't seen the new one. But, I did see a clip of the musical duet between Taraji P. Henson and my soror, Fantasia. Yes, shout out to D9. Shout out to D9. But, [00:40:00] anyway, that, sanitize, I think was like the word that I felt.

[00:40:05] And I know you guys have like different feelings about it, but, I think that there's a balance between not fetishizing queer sexuality and earnestly and honestly telling the story. And I think the original version, even though, according to the LA Times article, that was still sanitized because Steven Spielberg didn't want to go too crazy. 

[00:40:33] Shiloh: I think he didn't know how to accurately portray it.

[00:40:36] Right. Because he addressed the fact that he should've, done more with the representation of the relationship between Suge and Celie, but for some reason he didn't. And he was like, I was kind of shy as a director to, I guess, go there. 

[00:40:50] Fina: But it's like, as a di That sounds like a cop out. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

[00:40:52] That's what I'm saying. Like, I feel like, first of all, the first red flag is, The color purple is written by a Black woman, [00:41:00] and everybody in the original film is Black, a majority of the people. I haven't seen either, so you know, I'm just, you know what I'm saying, I'm just here. But, um, I definitely think that like, as a director, if you know that you have to shy away from a very important scene and desensitize it, maybe you should, yeah.

[00:41:16] I don't think you should direct it, actually. 

[00:41:17] Shiloh: And it was very important to Alice Walker that the relationship between Suge and Celie was portrayed, like, fully and wholeheartedly. Exactly. Because she says she based Celie off her grandmother and like these were her real experiences. And so I just think it's interesting that Steven Spielberg had that power. Like within the movie period. 

[00:41:37] Fina: That's what I'm saying and I also think it's really interesting because I've seen a lot of think pieces on Black Twitter and people are saying like the entire movie's desensitized because it's turned into a musical and I feel like that can be debated. But however I do think a lot of people were saying like, Oprah did not need to make this.

[00:41:52] She didn't need to, she didn't need to make it. It just should have stayed in the vault. 

[00:41:55] Dell: I mean, I appreciate seeing it. You know [00:42:00] what I mean? Yeah. I think it's a lot of readaptations happening currently that Everybody's feeling like, yeah, everybody's feeling like, why do we keep getting more? Um, 

[00:42:08] Love: People aren't writing. 

[00:42:09] Dell: Yeah, no one's writing, and we, I want more Black stories.

[00:42:12] Love: People aren't reading. 

[00:42:14] Fina: The girls aren't reading, so the girls aren't writing. 

[00:42:16] Dell: Right. I think that these reviews and these critiques come from a valid place, but at the same time, it Tends to also come from a lot of racialized places like it's usually because they don't want to see more Black people on the screen They don't want to see another Black story being told and it's like at least that's from my opinion.

[00:42:36] Love: Think that the more recent film leaned into the musical aspect because the actress that portrays Celie is sanctified, like gifted spiritually with the gift of voice and song. I felt like they had to. They decided to do the musical first. I felt like they had to They had to get Fantasia in there.

[00:42:55] Dell: No, but it's a musical. It's a Broadway. Didn't Fantasia play Celie? [00:43:00] Yeah, yeah. 

[00:43:00] Love: She did play it on Broadway too. They made a movie of the broadway musical I forgot that she did it on Broadway too, I don't know why I thought it was 

[00:43:08] Fina: I don't think it's wrong that it's a musical, however, I do think it's wrong that there's a white director.

[00:43:13] There's so many Black directors who could have directed that and really portrayed the actual like, deep relationship. 

[00:43:20] Dell: Yeah, yeah. 

[00:43:21] Fina: You know what I'm saying? 

[00:43:22] Shiloh: Especially if he was like, A close friend of Alice Walker or whatever. Like they were really close. 

[00:43:28] Fina: If he was really close. How he was saying, 

[00:43:30] Shiloh: like honor her intentions for the film director 

[00:43:34] Love: yeah the director for the most recent one is a Black man.

[00:43:37] Okay. But that may have been another reason why he didn't go out sexualizing the queer relationship because he didn't want to be like, Ridiculed for fetishizing. Yeah, yeah, especially as a Black woman. Maybe we just need to let Black women direct movies. 

[00:43:53] Fina: Right. However, isn't the book, like, the way Alice Walker describes it in the book, it's [00:44:00] actually quite in depth of their sexual relationship.

[00:44:02] It is, in the book, yes. So let's start bringing the book to life. Right. Right. let's do what the artist actually wanted. Right. I feel like, it's her art, let's just portray it the way that she wanted it. 

[00:44:12] Shiloh: Exactly. Right. I really wonder how many Black female voices were like behind the scenes in the creation of the new film.

[00:44:20] Because now we know it was a Black man who directed it and then Oprah was a part of like production. But, like who else? Who else was there? 

[00:44:28] Love: I did hear some concerning things about the way that The actresses were treated like, 

[00:44:34] Dell: Oh, the pay. Well, the pay and also like ..., 

[00:44:38] Love: no, cause like Barbie who I think Warner brothers also did.

[00:44:44] They had like, they had like a smoothie bar and a. Cafe specific to the Barbie set. Oh, but like the people well the color purple cast didn't have anything I almost cussed cuz like like they literally didn't have anything compared to what the Barbie [00:45:00] people said., and I think it's like I think it's really disturbing 

[00:45:04] Dell: no for real like how did the Barbie um, no I could just imagine I'm only laughing because I can really imagine the The pricing going towards the Barbie movie, right.

[00:45:13] And the all of the media. We saw 

[00:45:15] Fina: that movie wasn't that good. It, it was so bad. It actually a, I can talk about that movie for day movie. I didn't like it and they had a lot of money. I sat in the theater, I'm like, I wasted my money. I was, Issa Rae is beautiful in person. I love Issa Rae. I love Issa Rae. Why was she the only Black one in the film, though?

[00:45:31] They needed one. I thought Barbie was supposed to be about women. I'm sorry. I mean, when white people say woman, they mean white woman. 

[00:45:38] Shiloh: No, literally, because all the white women on TikTok are like, if your boyfriend doesn't ask you to see Barbie, break up with him. Like, this is revolutionary. And I was so confused, because I walked into the theater really thinking I was about to be like.

[00:45:49] Fina: Right, right, right. Like, I was like, revolutionized. I learned this in ADW, actually. No, right. That's how it goes. Like, y'all are actually, like, 20 years behind. That's what I'm saying. 

[00:45:58] Love: You know, speaking of ADW. [00:46:00] 

[00:46:00] Alice walker is the author of The Color Purple. Um, really quickly, Screen Rant describes the purple color itself as a representation of power and it symbolizes, see, this transformation, um, into a confident woman who's independent and bold.

[00:46:18] Like, The Color Purple is very bold. Um, it's also a representation of her spiritual and sexual awakening. obviously those things happen in the film. So, I really just wanna Call it into Conversation the actual color purple and Alice Walker's definition of womanism She has four but my favorite or one of my favorites was Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender. 

[00:46:46] Fina: Period. That's so deep. It really is It's beautiful cause it's like womanism is deep and rich. Right? Like the color purple. But feminism's more like, 

[00:46:54] Love: oh, hold on. . No, sorry. I . 

[00:46:57] Fina: I was getting too deep. [00:47:00] 

[00:47:00] Love: No, I, no, I mean, 

[00:47:02] Dell: Feminism's more like, not in a sense that, 

[00:47:05] Fina: in a sense that, you know what I'm saying? It's good that you stopped me before

[00:47:10] Love: I think that. Everyone should walk away from today's episode just feeling encouraged to call up their, their girls and Kiki and just have some love and experience some love with your loved ones. You know, Valentine's Day is a very interesting holiday. You know, many people believe is just a capitalist, invention.

[00:47:33] So let's reclaim it as Black women and really make it about genuine, beautiful, just real love. 

[00:47:41] Fina: I agree. Love, love. Love, love. Happy Valentine's Day. 

[00:47:45] Love: Fina, I'm going to edit you out of this episode 

[00:47:47] Fina: Happy Valentine's Day. Thanks for listening, everyone. Stay joyful. 

[00:47:51] Love: Be sure to stay tuned with us at the Blue Record Podcast on Instagram and Twitter.[00:48:00] 

[00:48:00] And check out our website, thebluerecordpodcast. com for our blog and any other updates. We'll talk to you soon.